Nothing supplements the deliciousness of a good recipe like cheesy jokes and a good pun. Since my father is the master of cheese and often the butt of my culinary jokes, I thought it'd be nice to pay homage to him every so often.
I figured that I might as well put up the recipe for the large background picture behind the title of this blog. I'm blessed with having 2 nieces and 1 nephew (and two more on the way....), so I'm also lucky enough to have 3 birthdays a year to "make happen." Though it's hard work, at the end of the day I'm not the one cleaning the poop off of a child who just ingested a pound of butter cream.
For the last child's birthday, there was a nice little Wallace and Gromit, which totally rules because I have every short and full length movie on tape and dvd and I also was the proud owner of a--as the style of the time required--far too large shirt donning Wallace and Gromit themselves. As if the long greasy hair, acne, and braces didn't make me a total babe, I really got the boys going with my extra large Wallace and Gromit shirt and overalls. But I digress....
Ok, so you may know what fondant is and you may not. If you are a fan of those cake shows like the The Fat Italian Cake Guy and The Super Punk Cake Guy, or whatever, then you have probably seen it and admire the flawless nature of its smooth finish and pliability. At the same time, it is known for, well, tasting totally disgusting. Some people in their first attempts like to buy it from the store, which is great for a few test runs to see how to work with it, but I would not recommend ever ever ever putting it anywhere near your mouth. It's just awful.
But it doesn't have to taste awful. I made a butter cream fondant which was buttery, sugary and delicious, but also has a shine to it--which may or may not be desirable. The type of fondant I ultimately decided to use for the birthday ends up with a nice matte finish, is easy to color and tastes pretty good.
MARSHMALLOW FONDANT
16 oz of marshmallows (This is usually a standard sized bag, try to go with the mini guys)
4 tbsps of water
1 tsp vanilla
5 - 6 cups powdered sugar
1-2 tbsps butter
I put the butter separate from the rest of the ingredients because it is not something you will need to use in the actually recipe. When you're working with the fondant you'll need to keep your hands nice and greased because the fondant gets sticky. While you have the option of using any other oily greasy stuff on your hands, I recommend butter because it tastes good.
In a pot boil water and put a stainless steel bowl over the water. Drop in the marshmallows and stir occasionally while they melt. Now, you can also just do this in the microwave in about, say, 30 seconds, but I'm terrified of microwaves and I don't own one. I said "I hate everything else"--microwaves included.
When the marshmallows are melted add the water and vanilla and stir until it's all mixed in nice and good and everyone is friendly.
Ok, you might have noticed that I do not have any pictures of the process. I apologize in advance, but I did not know I would be writing this blog. So, you know what that means:
Ok, you're going to start adding the sugar in. Slowly slowly add sugar. You're going to put a half cup or cup or whatever in and mix around until it's all nice and mixed. I do this by hand. Once the fondant starts to look like it's "workable" you an take it out of the bowl. To do this, you're going to find yourself wearing your best bikini and grease yourself up nice and good with the little bit of butter you have on the side. Put some powdered sugar on your body and the counter that you'll be working on. This will drive your hungry neglected significant other wild.
Work that fondant!
You want to get it so it's pliable and not at all sticky. It's very hard to mess this fondant up, so don't worry about adding too little or too much sugar.
You can do the following with this:
1.) Put it in the refrigerator after being wrapped in plastic wrap and let it hang tough until you're ready to use it (and, if you so choose to do it this way, you will have to take it out and let it warm up before you use it)
2) Use it right away and make some sweet sweet edibles
3.) Get stoned and eat the remaining marshmallows whilst forgetting you made this and let it dry out on accident after you pass out on the couch with a slice of pizza on your chest.
Note: I once realized that I might be "letting myself go" when I "came to" one day in bed. I was sitting in bed naked, watching some awful show on my computer while eating a slice of cold pizza, which by the way, rested so nicely on my chest between mouthfuls.
Anyway...
Here's what I did with the fondant. Have you ever put a days worth of hours into a 1st birthday party? Because I have:
Fudge brownies:
Rice crispy treats (marshmallow overload):
Cake:
Cupcakes:
And despite the fact that, no this is not my child, it was all well worth it:
Sugar coma.
This is the best!
ReplyDelete