In the spirit of Memorial Day, I'm going to recommend you give your heart a rest from battling the awful shit you put into your body and enjoy a little (healthier) alternative grilling. While watching my boyfriend making beer with a "ghetto-rigged" turkey frier while battling falling leaves from a tree in our yard, I decided to fire up the grill and make some delicious homemade veggie burgers. I know I have previously introduced you to--maybe twice--my black bean burgers (which, I have to admit, are quite "grillable"), these burgers involve no beans. Also--shockingly enough--I actually portioned out the food, so now you will actually have an accurate recipe. All and all, I'm a changed person.
No recipe of mine would be complete without some social commentary and incoherent ramblings about whatever I feel like talking about. So, here it is: These are not in place of eating meat burgers. Remember that if you so choose to make them. Think of these more like a grillable sandwich and you might find yourself enjoying them more than you would have thought. I would also like to address the fact that you might find yourself terrified of not grilling meat throughout the summer, but if you're going to bitch and moan about veggie burgers or whatever then at least have the decency to fire up the grill and throw a real heap of meat on there instead of some Johnsonville brats or whatever that have so much filler in soy in them that you're only eating the toenail of a pig. I've had it up to HERE being called a hippie because I like this stuff while watching you scarf down something that is only 10% percent animal. Go big or go home.
With that, let us get to grilling.
HOMEMADE VEGGIE BURGERS
(AKA stop being lazy and buying boca burgers for your sad and lonely vegetarian friends)
Here's what you need to be a success:
4 oz cheddar cheese (today I used smoked cheddar, which gives the burger a smokey, bacon-y flavor)
4 large carrots
1/2 onion
1 zucchini
1 package (or 4 oz) water chestnuts
4 cloves garlic
1/2 block extra firm tofu (this does not have to be pressed)
1 cup rolled oats
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 cup all purpose non-bleached flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
So here's the deal, you're going to need a large bowl, a spatula and a food processor.
I like my burgers nice and chunky, so the food processor will be handy. With all of your cheese and veggies, you will just cut everything into big chunks. So, cut up your cheese in 4 chunks and your zucchini into a few chunks, etc. You can choose to grate most of these things, but ultimately the food processor is the least time consuming and you will need it an some point anyway, so you might as well pull it off the shelf and get her fired up.
You may have noticed that there are no pictures--especially of my cat. I'd like to say that she has now been missing for a week on some sort of outdoor kitty adventure or what have you, so there will be no fun in this blog today.
You'll put the cheese chunks in first and process lightly until the cheese is broken up into small chunks. Put that in your bowl. Next do your zucchini, until it is in small chunks and add it to the bowl. Then your onion, then your carrot, then your water chestnuts. Mix all of those together and add your soy sauce and stir.
Next chop up your garlic very finely and mix in. In the processor, put in your half a block of tofu and mix until creamy. Mix into your vegetables.
Now, because I'm sort of lazy--as you may have noticed from my previous postings--I like to throw this mixture in my kitchenaid mixer and mix on very low speed while I add the dry ingredients. Now, I say 3 cups total of the dry ingredients, but you may choose to add more of you so please. Also, the amount of flour may vary based on the freshness/juiciness of the ingredients and whether or not you press the tofu. To give you a frame of reference I'm from the midwest so my ingredients, while they look fresh, I assure you they are not and I don't press my tofu. Play with these ingredients as you so choose.
When the mixture is to your liking, you can immediately flour up your hands and put them into patties or you can throw them in your fridge. I like to make them into patties and then freeze them to use for any day I don't really feel like cooking--which, when these are around, is usually ALWAYS. You may find yourself curious about the stickiness of these, but do not fret. They cook quite well. What I do recommend however, is that they definitely get put on the grill and not fried in a pan. You can fry the black bean burgers easily, but these end up getting oil-logged and don't turn out as stiff as they would on the grill. I understand your addiction to these, though, so I will tell you that I fry them occasionally and they certainly are edible, just not an ideal texture.
My boyfriend and I like to throw these on some kaiser rolls with some onion, greens, mustard and ketchup. Also, we grilled some asparagus (tossed in some olive oil, lemon juice and cracked pepper) and enjoyed a sweet glass of homemade strawberry lemonade.
I did not take pictures of any of these delicacies because, you know, I made my discovery about my ability to share these recipes with you via my blog after I stuffed my face. So in honor of those hypocritical misleading choads at VegNews (who you might remember from a few posts down decided that they didn't need to show pictures of meatless foods or test their recipes for their vegan magazine), I will give you this:
Mmmmmm...that looks like a tasty veggie burger there.
God bless America.
So nice to have you back Ali :o)
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