Up the Punks: Plantains

I will start off with a sincere apology about my lack of updates already.  I have a profound disinterest in the internet and after checking my facebook five times just to double check that still no one has sent me a message or made funny comments on my wall, I pretty much sign off altogether.  I recalled in the grocery store today that I had yet to add some recipes.

Which reminds me:


Walking out of the grocery store today, I noticed a pretty sweet punk couple--using that term loosely, because though their studded leather coated outward appearance said PUNK, they were shopping at Jewel and left in some sort of hatchback in a very affluent neighborhood.  But I digress.  While I was silently judging them on my way out, I noticed that on the way to their hatchback the male "punk" felt the urge to jump on the back of the cart and ride it 10 feet to the car.  Uber-punk.  I don't know why, but every time I think of punks in the grocery store, I can't help but envision the cinematic image of punks riding the back of shopping carts while terrorizing elderly ladies--soon to be lifelong recipients of Peapod--and mothers with little ape children hanging from them like bling from my father's neck circa 1976.  My question is: why does a twenty something year old who just discovered ponytails, leather and Leftover Crack have to perpetuate the stereotype?!

I cursed them while packing up my bag to hop on my crappy bicycle, threw on Institutionalized and hated my parents all the way home in their honor.

Also in their honor, something I know punks love: Plantains.  They're cheap, tasty, and even better, OBSCURE.

So here's a very quick little dessert that you can make:

Fried Plantains

2 yellow plantains
1/8 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp olive oil

Nice and simple.  Slice up the plantains in thin round slices.  Warm up the olive oil in a frying pan and toss the plantains in there.  Don't pile up the plantains, but throw them in the pan in a single layer so they get equal playing time.  Like so:

That's not a very good example.

Now you can evenly sprinkle the brown sugar on top of the plantains and add the vanilla.  Cover and let them fry for a minute.  In your impatience, you might feel the need to move the plantains around a bit, but try to refrain as much as possible so they don't get all mushy and nasty.  After a minute, uncover and flip the plantains to fry the other side.  Don't be afraid of a little crispy on the outside.  You want a little browning as the sugar will begin to caramelize.

Also, note that if you do not have plantains, you can also use bananas.  These are just as good but less OBSCURE, so your punk friends who still drink Hamm's at the age of 30 won't be as impressed.

And we wouldn't want that.

When you're done, throw them in a little bowl or, as I did, a nice ramekin (note: also not punk).

This is how delicious it will look:

WOW.

While not pictured, there is two very good ways to go with this:

You can a.) grab a little rice milk and mix in a little cinnamon, which can be poured over the plantains.  you need not add too much, just a little to give the warm fruit a nice cool down (note: Horchata is VERY punk).  Or b.) add a scoop of vanilla, chocolate or hazelnut ice cream to the side or on the top (note: not punk at all).

I am not punk, so I prefer the latter.

Note: This recipe has been known to even impress the Mid-City Punx.  Get ready for initiation.